Sunday, February 15, 2009

Lauren's "Why I'm an atheist and stuff" rant:

I've promised a certain someone that I would write this (*ahem*, JT), so here I am, doin' it. I would like to preface my rant with a disclaimer: I like to use profanity, sarcasm, and cynicism whenever possible. Feel free to stop reading here if a well placed 'fuck' or 'bitch' is going to disturb.

Alright, down to business, first of all, I am, in fact, an atheist. No, I don't hate you. Or eat babies. Or have five STDs. Or eat babies with STDs. I just simply do not see a logical reason to believe that some being is living in the air/space/brainz of everything and everyone around us on top of dictating our silly little lives.

Overall, I see religion as a rather stupid part of society that needs to be outed along with sexism and racism (two things that the Bible advocates if you religious types would actually read the damned thing).

I'm just such a big fan of reason and logic. More evidence exists in support of there being no god, therefore I do not believe in it/she/he/turtle. I realize that society has not reached an exact conclusion scientifically, but I would wager that if certain types (BUSH) would let science frolic and run free we would be a lot closer to answering such a question.

The bible is also an overwhelming piece of shit. That's right, SHIT. Have you ever actually read the bible? There's more incest, violence, and prejudice in that thing than every rap video and video game combined. I prefer to just live a moral life because it makes me happy and feel good. I don't need a magical book telling me how to live. I get the feeling that if I did, I would never be truly happy because I'd always have to compare myself to some really fucked up standards. But, I suppose that is going to have to wait for a different post another day.

Listen, I can understand the need for comfort. It would be nice to think that out there somewhere is a big superman-type character who's got a plan for us all and is watching out for us. But that's such a weak way to live, it's like a metaphysical cop-out. Life is weird and crazy and unpredictable and you just gotta roll with the punches. Sometimes, life really fucking sucks. Other times, it rules. That's just how it goes. Admitting that you're alone is hard, but extremely freeing. You realize just how strong you are, I know I did. I'm ten tons of awesome.

So, if you got this far in my note you're either 1) Really pissed at me and planning on waging a comment attack below before de-friending me, 2) Amused but unsure that it's such a good idea to take such a strong stance or this issue, or 3) Right along with me.

To those in category one, well...fuck you. I just thought I would get that out of the way. See, every time I argue with a Christian, they say that they are more than willing to accept other points of view and keep an open mind during conversation, but always seem to go back on their word. So, if you planned on writing a large expose on why I should accept Jesus Christ as my savior please kindly fuck the hell off. I have made a solid decision based on lots of introspection and thought. Can you say the same about your choice in religion?

Now, that isn't to say my mind can't be changed. I say that if you are absolutely sure that you have certifiable evidence of a higher power, by all means, present it to me and send my atheist ass back to the congregation. I think here you will find the glaring difference between atheists and religious-types. I am more than willing to change my mind if given the evidence. Right now, as it stands, there's more on the 'no god, sorry, try again' side that the 'do this or god will surely smite thee' side.

Category two, it would do you well to grow a set of balls. I urge you to think through the arguments, do the research, and come up with a solution that works well for you and defend it. I think I can confidently say that I already know which side you are going to end up on. Mine! So do me a favor and convert yourself so I don't have to come over there and beat some sense into you.

Category three, right on! *High five*

So, there you have it, some rather basic arguments as to why I don't believe in god and consider myself to be an atheist. Have a lovely day!