SKEPTICON APPROACHES!!!

FEAR IT!!!

Finally! The Proof Is Here...

A Bible Based Marriage

Church is Lies

This is in Springfield, at the corner of Cherry & Jefferson.

A Fun Rant about Conservatives: A Great Excuse for a Research Paper by Lauren Lane

I had to write this for my Art History of Graphic and Applied Design Class, and I thought I would share. It was super fun to write! I'll let you all know what kind of grade I get! The topic we were supposed to write on was "The propaganda of traditional values in contemporary visual communication as a result of the current political climate" and he wanted us to write as if we were writing him a letter or talking to him. I think I did ok...

Whenever I read the topics for the research paper, I nearly squealed in delight. You see, I have what one would call, oh, I don’t know, an intense loathing of all things conservative. These strict ‘moral’ people continue to shock and anger me on a daily basis. There seems to be no end to their vortex of stupidity.

However, in many cases, I am more than content to blast apart their unsteady arguments that they push forth like screaming toddlers before nap time. So getting to write this paper for class about their rather mindless propaganda of their traditional values in contemporary design only gives me an excuse to feed the fire and spend even more time on the internet getting angry over the blatant piles of stupid I trip over. Let’s look at a few favorites, shall we?

The first type of propaganda I would like to discuss is the most recent commercial, and now youtube video phenomenon, to have hit the mainstream media about anti-gay marriage. Put forth by the National Organization of Marriage (or NOM…I’ll let that one sink in), this video claims that “a storm is coming, are we ready?” As individuals with rather sullen looking faces are telling the camera that “they are afraid” for us heathen liberals have taken the issue of same sex marriage “far beyond same sex couples.” One such individual goes as far as saying that they believe their “freedom will be taken away” and that “they will have no choice.” Yeah…what?

Anyone with half a brain can instantly see this is a load of complete bullcrap. It has become clear that, due to the current political climate turning continually more liberal out of both necessity and common sense, conservatives are becoming more and more nervous human beings. This seems to be causing them to lash out with any and all available resources with blatant disregard for rationale, logic, and honesty for they innately fear change and progress.

To endorse and implement gay marriage would happily and rightfully end in the redefinition of the basic family values that conservatives hold dear. Husband? Wife? Mother? Father? Male? Female? All going to change, but rightfully so and for the better. Unfortunately, trying to tell that to anyone who is a conservative is like banging your head against a brick wall. Their heads are so far deep in the sand that all they can really make out is some muffled noises.

In a similar vein, I would like to talk about another attack against the homosexual lifestyle that has been fully supported by the right wing, the ‘ex-gay’ movement. Designed to make people feel as if being gay is an unfortunate temporary lapse in judgment and a voluntary, conscious decision, this is another type of hateful propaganda spread by the right wing.

Perhaps one of my favorite organizations to roll my eyes at is called NARTH, which stands for the National Association for Research & Therapy of Sexuality. It is here, with the creation of these types of organizations, that misleading propaganda reaches the tipping point of irony. This organization claims to “respect the right of all individuals to choose their own destiny” and yet squashes and belittles the rights of those who claim to be homosexual . How, exactly, is this respecting the rights of all individuals? It’s this kind of double speak that conservatives specialize in that I find rather infuriating. They never seem to know the difference. Or will admit to knowing the difference, anyway.

Furthermore, this type of propaganda is even more so disgusting in that it claims to have actual research to back up its rather false and antiquated declarations. The use of people with doctorates from the smallest and most religious of schools is an old tactic that has as yet to go out of style. For example, the article written on the NARTH website entitled “Homosexuality 101: What Every Therapist, Parent, And Homosexual Should Know” is written by Julie Harren, who has the fancy titles of P.H.D and LMFT behind her name. After some quick Google stalking, I can find nothing about to which university this woman gained her degree or where she is currently at work. It’s strange how they have not included to which institution of higher education she has come from. I mean, if her views and opinions are legitimate then you would want her pedigree easily accessible from all us nay-sayers, right?

The fact that conservatives will fight so dirtily only further proves how completely misguided they are. They have to either fabricate facts and figures or skew them laughably out of proportion to find even the smallest of foothold to stand upon.

As an additional attack on sexuality, conservatives like to spew out misinformation galore when it comes to abstinence-only education and its benefits. It is a well known fact that any and all religious organizations adamantly lobby for youngsters of all ages to please keep it in their pants until marriage. Because you suddenly become mentally and emotionally ready for such a thing once you are wearing a certain ring on a certain finger and have spent way too much money on pomp and circumstance to please both your parents and society. It’s true! (Please be sensing the blatant sarcasm, here.)

Organizations, such as Abstinence Clearinghouse (which is a ridiculously ironic name), Chastity Call, and Generation Life attempt to show the validity of abstinence through their rather large and horribly organized website layouts. For example, Chastity Call’s ‘A Real Woman’ poem claims that females are “Modest, pure and chaste… Understands chastity, Values her sexuality, Appreciates her fertility, Controls her passions and desires, Knows her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.”

Ok, ok, you’re going to have to give me a minute to stop giggling so much my sides hurt before I tear this faulty logic a new one…Alright, god-living aside, (for I could write you another research paper equally as long if not longer in support of atheism) this poem is so full of wrong it hurts my eyes.

Valuing people, especially women, on the basis of their sexual history is innately and severely damaging. What kind of message is this sending to let young people know that basically their entire worth is dependent upon the status of their no-no parts? This misdirected significance placed on their genitals is thoroughly antiquated and downright insulting to women everywhere. Ladies, are we not more than our lady parts? I know that I have a perfectly good brain over here. Anyone interested?

Also, this sad excuse for a poem asks women to basically suppress their physical urges, while at the same time asking them to value their sexuality. Umm...what? Do the makers of this propaganda not realize how confusing and contradictory they are being?

So, if I’ve got them right, I should love being sexual, but only when I’m supposed to when I’m married, and only if we’re doing it to have children. Right. These people don’t seem to understand that I am human and will have urges because, oh, guess what? They’re normal! Suppressing yourself and living in obtuse religious restraints is not normal. And what’s this stuff about my body being a temple for the holy spirit? Who is this guy/girl/thing? What the crap is he doing in my body without my knowing it? Is that a form of nonconsensual sex?

Yeah, well, I hate to break these people’s hopes, but it turns out that their, ahem, lovely poems, scary prom-gone-bad Purity Balls and abstinence pledges certainly aren’t winning anyone over or doing anyone any good. It turns out that “teenagers who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who do not promise abstinence and are significantly less likely to use condoms and other forms of birth control when they do” (Stein 1). So not only are the kids doing it, but if they say that they are saving it for Jesus, they are more likely to be unsafe about their reproductive health. I have one word for you, conservatives-FAIL.

Moving on, I mean, I wasn’t going to bring this up, but since we’re on the topic of women and their bodies, I might as well talk about it. Perhaps the most aggravating and sickening propaganda that the conservative right winger’s put out is information about the nature of abortions. Pro-lifers might as well be my sworn mortal enemy because I wish I could set them on fire with my eyeballs due to their disturbing lack of knowledge. You know, for people who seem to be fairly earnest and dedicated, you would think that they would at least research all of the information first, right? Wrong.

Conceivably the most ghastly tactic used to propagate misinformation about abortions by conservatives is the ‘bloody baby’ pictures. (I’d put one here in the paper for reference, but they are just too gross for sharing, even for academic purposes, really. But if you need to see what I am talking about, go to www.armyofgod.com and prepare to throw up in your mouth a little). Relying upon this kind of shocking visual as a crutch for your argument is pretty low in my book.

For the purposes of keeping this essay rather short, I’m just going to lay out the facts that republicans are more than likely to willfully ignore in order to stubbornly stay within their obsolete religious value system. One, a baby is not a baby until it has exited the womb. Two, yes, a fetus has the potential to become a human being, but so do a woman’s eggs and men’s sperm, and if you’re going to talk about how sacred a small collection of cells are, let’s not rule those out. Three, all evidence suggests that conscience is tied exclusively to a functioning brain, so no worries about losing a human soul-if they even exist. Four, having an abortion will not make women go crazy. Yes, they are going to be somewhat psychologically straining, but so is pushing a watermelon out of a hole the size of a quarter.

In the end, what it comes down to is that pro-choice wins. Abortion should be a viable option for any and all who should want and/or need it. This way, I can have it my way and you can have it yours. Even if I think your way is crazy.

I suppose it would be unfair of me to write a paper regarding the conservative wing’s use of propaganda to propel their traditional values in contemporary society without talking about every right winger’s favorite news channel, FOX News. Aptly dubbed ‘faux news’ to those in the know in more liberal circles, this twenty four hour news channel often times seems more like some sort of joke than it does actual news.

For example, let’s look at this whole ‘tea party’ phenomenon. Historically, tea parties were held in response to colonists being taxed on items, such as food, without having any representation in their presiding government across the Atlantic Ocean-The British. Settlers decided to quit being ignored and dumped a large amount of tea into the Boston Harbor as a mark of protest. No taxation without representation! Seems to be a fair and reasonable request, no?

Alright, now that we’re clear as to the history of the Boston Tea Party, we can move on to the newest incarnation that the likes of the FOX news community has brought to our attention. They, being the oh so clever little devils that they are, decided to throw their own little ‘tea party’ on tax day as a protest against the recent tax increases that Obama has implemented in order to stimulate the economy and work on stemming the already overflowing national deficit. Heck, they even had everyone’s favorite all-American man, Joe the Plumber out, to celebrate this recreation of a historical event that their beloved founding fathers did, and gosh darnit, they’re gonna do to.

But, that’s the thing. While the intentions of lowering or getting rid of taxes is the same between both events, that’s where the similarities end and the hilarity begins. These people all have representation. They are not being taxed against their wills and without any kind of voice to stand up for them in government like our forefathers, they have people they voted for in office!

To make matters worse, these tax increases that these teabaggers were protesting most likely didn’t affect them in the least. The modest (at best) tax increases that the president had implemented were to only affect those people who make more than $250,000 per year or big businesses (Tapper 1). Let me reiterate so I know that we are being perfectly crystal clear with one another. These tax increases, which prompted many working class families to protest in the form of mailing teabags to the White House and rally in the streets, were for people who make more than two hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year. The average family makes about $46,000-$50,000 dollars a year. Yeah.

I can only speculate that, somehow, FAUX, I mean, FOX news was able to distort the facts so fully about the tax increases that it frightened a great many people into protesting something that they didn’t really understand. It is, without a doubt, deeply disturbing that such a great number of people are willing to digest what they see on news channels without a second thought. Having capitalized on this, FOX News is one of the biggest propaganda generators of our time. I kind of want to perform some kind of teabagging that I am not allowed to talk about in academic papers to the CEOs of FOX news, but I unfortunately lack a certain type of body organ to do so.

Isn’t is the job of journalists everywhere to remain true to the story at hand and present all the facts in a clear, fair, and balanced manner? I would argue that it is the role of news channels everywhere, regardless of affiliation, to present information in a truthful, accurate, and complete manner, something FOX news hasn’t done…well, ever, as far as I’m concerned.

OK, well, now that I am officially overly worked up from looking at all of the ridiculous piles of stupid that are permeating society due to right wingers, I need to go calm down before I end up setting something on fire. I think we can both safely say that conservatives are masters of misleading information in contemporary society. I don’t blame them for being scared, though, they rightfully should be. I will certainly leave not leave their inaccurate and faulty logic be, I plan on destroying it.

Sarah Haskins fills the Jesus Shaped Hole in My Heart

I realized today that I haven't shared the wonder and absolute joy that is Sarah Haskins. She has a regular spot CurrentTV online every Thursday called 'Target Women' that usually makes me laugh so hard I shit my pants.

Gotta love those feminists who kill you with humor! Enjoy this week's episode:

Hannity Acends to New Heights of Douchebaggery

Check out the first couple minutes of this video. Hannity says that he is against torture, but for 'enhanced interrogation' (whatever the hell that is) and then offers to be water boarded for charity. What. A. Jackass.

Go Keith Olberman for totally handing Hannity his ass to him: